Th e royal treatment
Posted on Wednesday, October 1, 2008
I can slay my own dragons. I can dream my own dreams. My knight in shining armor is me. I don’t wanna be like Cinderella sittin’ in a dark cold dusty cellar, waiting for somebody to come and set me free. — From “Cinderella” by The Cheetah Girls Fairy-tale dreams can come true... even within the context of a modern, reallife world that, at times, seems to have more villains than heroes. Not only can those dreams come true, but the dreamers can be their own heroes. That’s the message of Cinderella’s Princesses, a new leadership program for girls and young women ages 12-18. The program promotes community service as well as helps participants build safe and healthy relationships. Cinderella’s Princesses is sponsored by Safe Places, a nonprofit organization in Little Rock that serves children who have been harmed by violence and abuse. Each “princess” learns how to be an advocate for nonviolence and for attitudes and behaviors that promote safe homes, schools and communities. Principles and skills taught include interpersonal and communication skills; self-awareness, self-determination and confidence; personal growth and development; leadership; mentoring and teaching; knowledge of social issues that affect children and families; and involvement with social change and community development.
But does the Cinderella story — that of a young woman who had to be rescued from a bad situation — conflict with the message of empowerment that Safe Places wants to convey ? Executive director Kathy Manis Findley doesn’t think so.
“Cinderella was able — through hope, magic, good fortune, faith — to see her sad life become one of joy and promise,” Findley says. “As women, we are not unlike her in that each of us relies on a certain kind of magic and wonder to survive our oppression, whatever level of oppression we endure.” Inspiration for the program also comes from The Cheetah Girls song, “Cinderella,” which reworks the classic fairy tale into one of self-empowerment.
Cinderella’s Princesses ’ inaugural program began in June. At weekly sessons, the girls learned about forms of violence, from bullying to cyber-stalking, then learned how to help peers exposed to violence. After learning to be peergroup facilitators, the girls led violence-prevention education groups for younger children, covering such topics as “Hands Are Not for Hitting” and “Your Body Belongs to You.” Other activities included an etiquette program; a hair and makeup day; and lunch with Katie Bailey, Miss Arkansas 2007. On July 22, the princesses graduated from the first part of their leadership program in a ceremony that recognized their more than 100 collective hours of community service. The princesses’ activities culminated in an event befitting the group name. On Friday, the girls were presented debutante-style — complete with formal gowns, tiaras and escorts — at Safe Places’ first Cinderella Ball. Also a fundraiser, the event took place in the Grand Hall of the Governor’s Mansion.
MAGIC MESSAGE Making Cinderella’s Princesses unique, Findley says, is that participants are not only taught to not be victims, but are also prepared to share that message with others.
“Even when a woman reaches her potential and fulfills her promise, she is somehow still vulnerable.... We try to instill inside young girls that no one has the right to abuse or harm them in any way.” Princesses are sponsored by their families, other individuals or businesses. This year, the sponsorship commitment for each girl was $ 500. The girls are responsible for their Cinderella Ball attire. Luckily, “so many of our girls had fairy godmothers,” Findley says.
Angela McGraw, violence prevention and intervention coordinator for Safe Places, has overseen the hands-on work with the participants. “The princesses come from all different walks of life and it was an honor to watch them break through some of those basic barriers first,” says McGraw, who has two daughters and a niece who are princesses.
“Of course, the underlying triumph for Safe Places is that we hopefully educated these young women to understand what ‘red flags’ are in a relationship, whether that is an intimate relationship or a friendship.” McGraw recalls how she and the princesses developed a list of scenarios of unhealthy relationships. “It was really amazing to watch the girls go from being pretty set in their beliefs about not accepting some behaviors to adding some extra unhealthy situations that made them question their decision.” Kerri Sernel, the agency’s social worker and clinical services coordinator, recalls the girls’ trip to the state Capitol to meet Gov. Mike Beebe (who issued a proclamation dedicating a week to the program ) and tour the building.
“Watching them interact with the governor was really fun,” she says. “I think one of the things they enjoyed most about the day was visiting the treasury and getting to hold huge amounts of money.” They also got their photos taken with bundles of money. “They thought that was so cool.” One of the things that most impressed Sernel about the girls is that “they ended up sort of mentoring their friends and relatives in ways that... they didn’t even anticipate.” A veteran in community service, 14-year-old Tonisha Brown says she was attracted to the program’s promise of service opportunities. She also welcomed the chance to make new friends. “They taught us so many [things ] that we didn’t know and that surprised me a lot,” says Brown, a freshman at Little Rock Central High School. She also enjoyed the dancing lessons the girls received in preparation for the ball.
SELLING POINTS Tonisha says three of her friends plan to sign up for the next group of princesses. Her selling point ? “I would say that you learn stuff but you’re also having fun doing it. And you can see how much it influences other people so that they want to do the same.... It’s an overall good experience.” For Jeannie Stivers of Maumelle, a 15-year-old sophomore at North Little Rock High School East Campus, the most memorable princess moment was talking to younger children “and making an influence on how they behaved.” “At first they were like, ‘ Oh yeah, I would hit another kid if they hit me, ’” Jeannie says, adding that when she read a story about other ways to handle conflict, the kids understood the message.
Not only has Jeannie shared the merits of the Cinderella’s Princesses program with friends, but she also hopes to start a similar group at her school.
Fifteen-year-old Kiah Mc-Graw, a sophomore at Parkview Arts and Science Magnet High School in Little Rock, says she enjoyed learning how to help friends become better people and have better relationships. “I thought that was pretty cool.” The most important thing she is taking away from the program ? “[Knowing ] how other people are supposed to respect you and how you’re supposed to respect other people,” Kiah says. “I think if you know that, you’ll get pretty far in life.” Kiah’s 12-year-old sister Shawnta, a seventh-grader at Horace Mann Magnet Middle School, says that as a princess she now knows how to protect herself from sexual predators as well as how to be a friend to girls affected by violence — how to be “the person that they can talk to and they can trust when they’re in that kind of situation.” FUTURE SUPPORT “Certainly the long-range goal that we would like to see is a less violent community,” Sernel says. “And one of the ways that we can do that is to help girls really support each other and shore each other up.” Safe Places staff will soon plan the 2009 Cinderella’s Princesses program. Donors — especially ball-gown donors — and volunteers are more than welcome. The realization of the program has been of personal benefit to Findley, a child-abuse victim. Cinderella’s Princesses “reminded me once again to believe in the magic of hope, to believe in ourselves, to slay our own dragons and dream our own dreams,” she says. “And it reminded me that we can all write the endings to our own Cinderella stories.
“ Life is not a fairy tale for so many young girls these days, but magic and miracles and hope still happen,” she adds. “We want the princesses to believe in that kind of magic and hope, and to realize that they will find it within themselves.” For more information on Safe Places and Cinderella’s Princesses, visit the agency at 1609 Broadway, Little Rock; safeplaceslr. org; or call (501 ) 374-7233.
FEEDBACK:
Something to say about this topic? Submit a Letter to the Editor online